Day 11: Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

"Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
-Dylan Thomas

These lines from a poem by Dylan Thomas stuck out to me the other day. Maybe I should start taking this advice. I'm not talking about "the dying of the light" as the ending my life (as it is used in the context of the poem), but rather the things in life--relationships, hobbies, passions, goals, dreams, etc.--that you want to keep forever but sometimes, as life moves along, you lose. I lose so many of the things I hold dear to me, but many times I feel like I let them go without a fight. So many things I'm not ready to let go of, but I don't exert enough effort to keep them from slipping away. I let them go gently into the good night. But should I?

I don't like change. I never have. I don't handle it well. And yet, when I encounter a significant change, do I do anything to stop it? To hold on to that thing I want so badly to keep in my life? To rage against the dying of that friendship or that dream of being on Broadway or that habit of writing every day or that goal of getting all As or that passion for photography? I don't. I do nothing but shrug my shoulders and bite my lip and watch them disappear from my life.

I'm not saying change is bad; it can lead to wonderful things. But not everything has to change. Sometimes consistency is a good thing. I just wonder why I don't fight harder to keep my life the way it was, especially when the way it was made me so much happier than the way it is. Sometimes I'm so much happier with who I was before than with who I am now.

I guess the time has come to learn how to be a fighter. Maybe I can learn to fight for the things I don't want to lose, and fight for the things I want back. Shouldn't be too hard, right?

P.S. Once school gets out, my blogs will be back up to their usual quality. Just been really busy with end-of-the-school-year everything, which is why I'm giving you lots of short posts and blow-off posts and really unnecessary things. Sorry about that. Love you all.<3

Currently reading: Survival in Auschwitz by Primo Levi
Song of the Day: Beautiful Things- Gungor